Writer Mamas – Writers who are moms and some how make it all work. A week long series featuring mamas writing about mamas for mamas.
Today’s feature comes from Rebecca Graf. She is a fellow writer at Blissfully Domestic. You can find her on numerous writing site online including BellaOnline and HubPages.
Juggling Writing and Being a Mom
Anytime a mom has to juggle different areas of her life, it can get crazy and sometimes comes close to a mental breakdown. Before I began writing, I had a 40-60 week job that made me learn to juggle things. This helped me some as I became a writer.
For 20 years, I worked in the accounting field. My job typically had me working 60 hours a week. I never saw the kids’ school functions. Only went on one field trip and had to fight my boss for that. Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore. I quit and began writing full time. Then I discovered a different kind of juggling problem. Time and peace.
You have to know this about me. I need times of peace and quiet. When I need to focus, it has to be just me or everyone else completely silent. Being home during the school year wasn’t too bad. Ok, it was because every adult in town would stop by and talk to my husband. When school let out for the summer, I found out that I almost could do the writing and be a mom. I had to have a sanctuary.
For you, I’ve broken the juggling into two sections: When School’s Out and When They’re in School. I have to approach it completely different.
When School’s Out
If your kids don’t have camp or a job, they are more than likely everywhere at one time. Not exactly conducive to writing. I tried the headphone trick, but every thirty seconds (no exaggeration, trust me) someone needed my attention. I got behind on my writing jobs and almost lost one. I discovered that I had to make some changes.
In the morning, I was mom. After breakfast, I disappeared for a few hours to a local coffee shop. Right after lunch, I’d come back and be mom again until bedtime. Then I stayed up late to finish any work. I knew it was only for a few months so it worked out good.
When They’re in School
To be honest, I love it when they go back to school because I can focus all day with no one around. I get so much done between writing and housework. Now, when the kids get home from school, I have a few hours of just being mom before doing a few things right before bed.
Boundaries Need to be Set
If you’re like me and need quiet and structure to write, you’re going to have to set boundaries with the family, including the husband. If you use headphones to block out noises, announce that no one can bother you while they are on. If you are in the midst of writing and they need you, they should stand nearby so you can see them but wait until you finish the thought you’re writing and acknowledge them.
If you have a sanctuary that you can retreat to, then mark it off limits. No one should disturb you unless blood is gushing. You have to have a place that stimulates your writing.
Can you be a mom and a writer? You bet! Many do and have found very fulfilling lives. Just don’t expect the kids to understand your needs as a writer and that sometimes you have to switch hats and focus on only area. Yet, you’ll find that you inspire your children because you write which is “boring” to them and that you’re following your dreams.
If you’re considering doing some writing but worry about your mom role, don’t! It can be worked out. Have the support of your loved ones around you and you will succeed beyond your wildest dreams.
Rebecca Graf is a mother of three (8 if you include pets and husband). She was trained as an account and then found a love of writing. In the last three years, she has written a children’s book, and over 200 articles on Hubpages (http://rgraf.hubpages.com/) on topics that cover religion, nature, gardening, business, education, and history. You can also find her work on BellaOnline.com as the History editor (http://history.bellaonline.com/Site.asp) and the new Herbs editor (http://www.bellaonline.com/site/herbs). Her articles on marriage can be found on www.Blissfully.Domestic.com . On top of all this she has found a company to work for as a freelance writer that has helped her family financially almost as good as her accounting job. She loves to teach, write, and work on crafts when she’s not focused on being mom.
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